Maybe you haven't carved out your alpha male side but that's
OK. It's still possible for her to perceive you as an alpha
male. And perception is reality. Here's a few things you need
to do to build this alpha male perception:
1. Be a Protector of Loved Ones: tell her a true story from
your life about how you helped a friend or family member when
they were in need (be sure that the story is a Demonstration
of High Value, aka DHV).
2. Show Her Your Strong Ideals: don't be afraid to disagree
with her if she says something you don't believe.
3. Don't Seek Approval: if you perform a DHV or tell a story
to a woman don't fish for a compliment about it after, just
move on to the next step. You should be approaching all of
your pick up routines with the mindset of "Here's something I
think is interesting!" and sharing that excitement. You should
never seek to validate yourself based on the responses to your
routines.
What she really wants is a man that stands up to her demands.
She wants a man that can give it back as good as she can dish
it out. If she says "Buy me a drink." He says "I don't buy
women drinks." If she says, "You're too short for me." He says,
"No, you're too tall for me."
Most men never make it past these early ATTRACTION TESTS
because they don't view them as tests. They falsely believe
that doing or saying what the woman wants will earn them
attraction points.
Now, here's where the BEING INTERESTING part comes in...
When you pass a woman's attraction tests, she gets excited.
With each test you pass she thinks, "This is intriguing, I
wonder how far he'll get." And her attraction grows. So, she
keeps testing your alpha male resolve until you pass her bar
for the type of man she's looking for.
If you don't give in, if you don't break, and you've got the
guts to be a man, you can pass any woman's attraction tests
and make her want you. If you don't have the alpha male
mindset yet then I hope today's email woke you up to it. And
next time you're in set I want you to watch for these attraction
tests. Take note of how women react to you when you bend to
their will and when you don't.
Maybe your stories aren't bone-dry BORING but just need a
little spice to be intriguing. Here's a few points to remember
when telling a story to attract a woman:
1. Use Your Body: boom your voice deep and loud. Make eye
contact with each listener by holding a listener's gaze for a few
seconds, then scanning to the next listener's eyes, hold for a
few seconds and repeat. Get yours arms and hands animated
in rhythm with the excitement of your story.
2. Evoke With Your Words: buy a thesaurus, play scrabble,
look up words in the dictionary you don't know, build up your
vocabulary and use it! Appeal to the FIVE senses with your
words whenever possible. Use this sample paragraph as a
learning example:
"As I pushed through the brush I could taste the sweaty salt
on my lips (TASTE). The cool aired tickled my skin (TOUCH) and
the sound of the rushing water was deafening (SOUND). When I
finally broke through the jungle I saw a massive waterfall,
pouring into a pitch black pool (SIGHT) surrounded by perfumed
orchids (SMELL)."
3. Be Specific : flesh out the players in your story with vivid details.
Don't just say, "Then my friend Justin punched the lead singer."
Instead say, "Then my punk rock loving friend Justin who always
wore an Ramones T-shirt punched the lead singer."
4. Employ a Story Arc: have a beginning, middle and end of your
story. Don't waste time on setting the story up, just start from an
active place as Style did in "The Game" with - "The house was a
disaster." Have a plot in the middle with a conflict (man vs. man,
man vs. nature, man vs. machine, etc). End strong with the conflict
resolving. Close with a lesson, for example - "And that's why I'll
never own another robotic toaster again."
If you want more info on storytelling, Style has included a whole
DVD in his new DVD bundle called "Generate Your Own Effective
DHV Routines" that will show you how to create your own pick up
artist stories for seduction.
Within the first 10 minutes of meeting a woman, you can be
your own worst enemy. Say the wrong thing and you'll KILL her
attraction for you. Pick Up Artists call these mistakes
demonstrating lower value (abbreviated DLV).
The key is to be interesting and show value to attract women.
Today you'll see how to eliminate low value verbal mistakes from
your game to prevent you from torpedoing your own seduction
success.
You see women have mental attraction switches that a man can
either flip ON or turn completely OFF, with just his words. Women
want a man other women are attracted to, a man with an exciting
life, a strong social network, ambitious life goals, and a man who
takes care of his loved ones.
Here's a list of LOW VALUE mistakes I often hear a man say to
woman that TURN OFF these attraction switches:
1. "I never date." or "My last girlfriend was forever ago."
She thinks: "No other women will touch this guy and neither
should I." Instead you should demonstrate pre-selection (show
her other women want you). Tell her a story of an interesting
date you had or drop names of female friends into your stories.
2. "I just stay at home and play video games most nights."
She thinks: "This guy is boring." You should be conveying to
her that you're an adventurous risk-taker. Talk about when
you did something dangerous (sky-diving, hang gliding, bungee
jumping, etc). If you haven't done something like that, then
talk about your desire to do so.
3. "I don't have any friends." or "My friends are all jerks."
She thinks: "He has no friends (or bad ones) because he's bad
at being social." Instead talk about your friends positively and let
her know you have many. Or show her you're good at socializing
by meeting new people with her that night.
4. "My job sucks but it pays the bills, I guess."
She thinks: "OK, this guy has no ambition, that's gross." If you do
have a shitty job, you don't need to tell her all about it. Instead
tell her your goals for the future. She doesn't care if you're rich
but she does want you to be ambitious.
5. "I don't really talk to my family."
She thinks: "This guy has intimacy issues because he's not even able
to love his family!" Don't reveal negative personal baggage about
yourself in the early stages of meeting a woman. Instead show her
you love and take care of all of those close to you: family, friends,
girlfriends, and even pets. Being a protector of your loved ones is
very sexy to women.
Learning Pick Up Artistry you're bound to commit one of these LOW
VALUE verbal mistakes. If you've ever noticed a woman zoning out
from your conversation, it meant you mistakenly DEMONSTRATED
LOW VALUE and she lost attraction for you. The important thing is
that you learn from these moments and eliminate any LOW VALUE
unattractive DLVs from your Pick Up Artist stories and routines
When attracting a woman if you try too hard it TURNS HER OFF.
To a woman trying too hard means you're a needy guy who
doesn't date often.
Pick Up Artists call guys like this "Dancing Monkeys." A woman
might enjoy the Dancing Monkey's show but she'll never go
home with him, her friends would laugh at her.
The true art of Pick Up Artistry is making attraction, a complex
process, look effortless. I want you to successfully use
everything you've learned about being interesting by using
demonstration of higher vale routines (abbreviated DHV)
successfully. I don't want you to ever be laughed at as the
Dancing Monkey.
Here's three powerful tips to remember for delivering your PUA
routines so she always sees you as the cool, interesting guy,
not the dancing monkey:
1. It’s Your Frame – you want to be amused - when you use a
PUA routine never do it for a reaction or validation from the
woman you're trying to attract. Instead adopt the attitude "It's
my world and I'm doing these things because they interest or
amuse me."
2. Don't Be Low Value - Never ever preface your routines by
saying things like "Watch me do this!" A cool guy doesn't ask
for attention, he already assumes it because of his personality.
Never ever – and I mean EVER – look for a reaction (applause,
smile, etc.) during or AFTER you are performing your routines.
And when possible perform your DHVs for the woman in the
group who isn't your target and just tell the target if she
behaves she can watch. Eventually she'll beg for attention
too and her jealousy of the attention you've given her friend
will build attraction.
3. Manage Your Performance - don't perform obvious DHV
routines directly after each other. For example don't read
Tarot cards, do a magic trick, then throw the rune stones
back to back. Limit your very obvious "performance" type
routines by mixing them up with DHV stories and social games
like the "Best Friends Test."
And if someone says "Oh, do that again!" don't comply. You
don't perform on command, only at your own will. If asked to
repeat just say with a smile, "That's a one time only thing, but
it reminds me of…" and change the subject.
There's a lot to remember when building attraction. The more
you practice the more it looks effortless. Use these tips, go
out tonight and practice, practice, practice.
Very few men can COLD APPROACH a woman without hesitation.
Let me ask you this: When YOU see a beautiful woman, CAN YOU
- no matter what – walk up to her and meet her?
Do you want to be a man who can pull this off and have
unstoppable self-confidence?
The solution is to get rid of your fear of rejection and become a
flirting machine and I will share with you how to do that in just a
minute. (Also there's another surprise announcement I'll share.)
First let me tell you a little trick successful pick up artists use:
When you see a woman, approach her in the three seconds (some
guys actually count to three in their head). Why three seconds?
Because PUAs figured out if you wait longer than three seconds not
only does your negative internal dialogue talk you out of approaching
but you'll also LOWER your attractiveness in her eyes!
Here’s why: once you see a woman you want to approach your body
subconsciously shows signs you're attracted to her. The most obvious
is looking at her every few minutes to see if she's looking at you. She
notices these signs and sees you hesitating. This makes you less
attractive to her in two ways:
1. SHOWING NO CONFIDENCE: she decides you must be a man who
lacks confidence. By default all women are attracted to bold men so in
her eyes you just lost a few attraction points by waiting.
2. LOSING YOUR PRE-SELECTION BONUS: women are attracted to
men other women find attractive. Besides her seeing you with another
woman there are signs she'll look for to tell if other women like you.
Don’t approach quickly and she'll think you're a man who doesn’t know
how to meet women. That means you're a man who doesn't date often.
And it gets even worse...
If you choose to wait to approach, maybe stalling to gain courage by
drinking a few beers, you put your chances at greater risk. Not only will
you suffer the loss of attraction points but the longer you wait to
approach gives other men a shot with the woman you desire. This is
why waiting to approach almost always fails!
For these reasons PUAs have the golden “3 Second Rule”: “To preserve
your attraction levels when you see a woman you find attractive you
MUST APPROACH within three seconds.”
Understanding the "3 Second Rule" is EASY. Following it is NOT! It takes
two things: unstoppable self confidence and an unwavering motivation
to better yourself with women. This is your INNER GAME.
Just like athletes who can turn on their championship "A-game", when
your INNER GAME is solid, you will be an invincible APPROACHING and
FLIRTING MACHINE. You can turn it ON as EASY as flipping a switch.
So, how do you get SOLID inner game? By overcoming your limiting
beliefs about yourself AND getting into the right head space to attract
women. And to make it easy for you, Style has put together a system
that worked for him.
Here are 3 things you can do immediately to approach more
consistently and confidently:
1. GET A WINGMAN: gift a friend "The Game," forward him my
emails, or meet a wingman in a bar because a wing PUSHES you.
When you see a woman his job is to encourage you to approach:
"You got this! She's checking you out. Go! Go! Go!" And when it's
his turn to approach you motivate him. All night, you approach
then he approaches. Make it a game, have fun with it.
2. HAVE AN OPENER READY: Never use the excuse "I don't have
anything to say to her." Always have an OPENER ready to go. If
you need an opener, here's a new one from Stylelife Academy
Student Confucius:
"My friends are debating and I want your female opinion: what's
the difference between dating and going-out with someone?"
Memorize an opener. Approach. Use it. No excuses.
3. MICRO-STEPPING: Does the thought "I have to go talk to that
super hot girl." fill your mind with worry? Then don't think of it
like that. Look at the small steps instead.
Focus on Step 1, walking in her direction. Then Step 2, just think
"I'll talk to someone in her group." Step 3, think "I'll say hello to
her." Now take those small steps all the way to the point where
you're in a conversation with her and then use your memorized
opener to keep the conversation flowing. Baby steps to your goal!
To learn to be a pick up artist you need to put yourself in some
uncomfortable positions. We've talked much this month about
approach anxiety, today we're going to cover the other areas
where you need to PUSH YOUR COMFORT ZONE to become a
pick up artist:
1. YOU MUST KEEP TALKING
After you open a woman and talk for a bit there will be an awkward
pause in the conversation. Your brain will shout "GET OUT OF
HERE! This is uncomfortable."
But it takes 20-30mins of talking for you to build enough attraction
with a woman to go to the next phase of seduction. Fight the urge
to leave and KEEP TALKING!
To get past this pause you can recite another PUA opener (they
work as conversation pieces too). Or use a DEMONSTRATION OF
HIGHER VALUE routine. In my training days I kept a reserve routine
typed in my cell phone memo to use ONLY for emergency pauses.
By ejecting you'll certainly NOT GET THE GIRL. When you keep
talking you increase your odds but more importantly you'll get
experience at talking with women. The more experience you gain
the less uncomfortable you feel.
2. GETTING THE GIRL ALONE
You're talking to a group of women and you start getting attraction
signals from the girl you like. Now you need to get her alone to
kiss her or get her number because she's not going to do that right
in front of her friends.
Again you need to make yourself UNCOMFORTABLE...
To isolate a woman with a very protective friend group once you've
attracted her, you need to boldly say to the group "Your friend and I
kinda of like each other. We're going to step right over there and
talk in private for five minutes. Is that OK with you?"
Her friends will be shocked at your boldness and she will be attracted
to you more because of it. And the friends always say yes.
I really want you to digest these two points in my next email I'll share
points 3 and 4 with you: ASKING FOR HER NUMBER& MAKING YOUR
MOVE FOR THE KISS...
Stepping out of your comfort zone means digging deep to find the
confidence in you to mold your dating life into what it should be
--- GETTING HER PHONE NUMBER---
Women rarely give out their numbers – even if they like the guy.
The following routine will work on almost 100% of all girls. But
you need to develop the confidence to say it. If you don't have
the confidence to make these words come out of your mouth…
they're useless. (more about how you can get confident practically
overnight in a minute).
Pick up artist use routines called "number closes" to ask for a
woman's number. Here's one created by Style:
"Casually mention to her the details of an upcoming party or
event. After mentioning it let some time pass and say to her
'You should come along with my friends and I to *INSERT EVENT
HERE*. Let's exchange numbers so I can give you the details.”
Pull out a piece of paper and pen, rip the paper in two pieces,
write your number on one piece, while still holding it hand her
the pen and the other piece of paper. She'll automatically write
her number down. Then exchange the papers. It never fails."
Why does this work so well?
Because one it seems fair to her that you are "exchanging
numbers." Two you gave her a reason for why you need to
get her number. And three it's an extremely confident way
to get a woman's number. You aren't asking her, you are
LEADING her to giving you her number. She is the woman
and you're the man, it's your job to lead.
1. What you're going to say to get her to kiss you
2. The confidence to make that move to kiss her
*WHAT YOU NEED TO SAY TO GET THE KISS*
Pick up artists use routines called "kiss closes" to kiss women
without being rejected. My favorite kiss close is from pick up
artist guru Mystery. This is how it goes:
You say to her "Would you like to kiss me?"
Then 1 of 3 things happens, if she says, "Yes," you kiss her. If she
says, "Maybe," or hesitates, you say, "Let's find out," and kiss her.
And if she says, "No," you say, "I didn't say you could. It just
looked like you had something on your mind."
...
gmeister