Episode list Series 1 (2006) Overall No. Series No. Title Directed by Written by Original air date 1 1 "Yesterday's Jam" Graham Linehan Graham Linehan 3 February 2006 Jen (Katherine Parkinson) is interviewed for a position at Reynholm Industries by Denholm (Christopher Morris). Fooled by her claim on her CV that she has "a lot of experience with computers", Denholm hires her, and while she believes she will be the new Ally McBeal, he banishes her to the basement with "standard nerds" Roy (Chris O'Dowd) and Moss (Richard Ayoade). Resistant to the idea of a new manager, and in the belief that Jen knows nothing about computers, Moss and Roy set out to expose her, but when Denholm threatens to fire the whole team over their lack of teamwork, they pretend to get on with her, without exposing her secret. When Denholm asks why they came to see him, Roy invents an excuse that they came to inform him that they had just installed voice-activation software on his computer, and the episode ends with Denholm repeatedly trying to get the computer to respond to his voice. 2 2 "Calamity Jen" Graham Linehan Graham Linehan 3 February 2006 Jen is obsessed with a pair of shoes in a shop window. Despite the fact they are several sizes too small, Jen later sneaks out to buy them. Denholm starts a war on stress, threatening to fire anyone who is still experiencing stress by the end of the day. As a result, the trio are persuaded to attend an anti-stress class which Roy continually disrupts. To avoid being fired, Moss builds a copy of the stress measurement machine from the class, and Roy steals the original. Moss sets the office on fire after leaving a soldering iron switched on, and e-mails the fire brigade for help since he can't remember their new number (0118 999 881 999 119 7253). Denholm comes down to test Jen on the stress machine, and despite being hysterical due to the fire and her injuries from the shoes, the threat of being fired is enough to save her. The fire brigade eventually arrive after it is revealed that the stress machine was not working. 3 3 "Fifty-Fifty" "50:50""50/50" Graham Linehan Graham Linehan (contributory writer Adam MacKessy) 10 February 2006 Roy's date with a woman goes horribly wrong after she mistakes some chocolate on his head for faeces. Despite Roy's insistence that "it's not shit", he declares that the woman didn't like him because women only like "bad boys" and devises a plan to prove his theory by posting a despicable singles ad. After getting many responses, Roy arranges a date with a surprisingly good-looking woman and sets out to act like a "bastard" to progress their relationship. Jen has been impressing the temporary security guard with her fluke-knowledge of obscure facts and after he tells her he will call at a certain time, it is revealed that he has selected her as his "phone a friend" on the quiz show Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?. After being asked out on national television, Jen is presented with the real "big question", and things inevitably go awry. Moss suggests that Roy and Jen take their dates to a great restaurant called "Messijo's", but they fail to spot his mispronunciation and end up at "Messy Joe's", a popular family restaurant. After the ineptitude of both is exposed, Roy and Jen's dates leave together, and Roy ruins what could potentially have been a close moment between him and Jen. 4 4 "The Red Door" Graham Linehan Graham Linehan 17 February 2006 Moss finds himself frustrated at repeated theft of his mug. To prevent further recurrence, he gets a new mug that no one could possibly steal, as it has a picture of his head on the bottom ? but the inevitable happens. After heading upstairs to resolve an IT problem, Roy finds himself in an uncomfortable situation under a female employee's desk. After Roy calls Moss for help to escape, Jen investigates a strange red door in the department. Despite repeated instruction to not open the door, Jen's curiosity gets the better of her, and she discovers Richmond (Noel Fielding), a lonely goth and the fourth employee of the IT department. A series of flashbacks paint a bleak picture of Richmond's fall from grace at Reynholm Industries ? Richmond was Denholm's right-hand man until the death of Denholm's father and (coincidentally) Richmond's discovery of the dark-wave band Cradle of Filth. Touched by his story, Jen sets out to help and restore Richmond to his former glory. Meanwhile, Roy continues to be trapped under a desk, leaving him fighting a losing battle to not become a "desk rabbit" (a term coined by Moss), but Jen rescues him by successfully distracting the two women from their desks. The episode ends with Moss searching through a mountain of china to find his missing mug, with which Richmond and Denholm are both seen. 5 5 "The Haunting of Bill Crouse" Graham Linehan Graham Linehan (contributory writer Adam MacKessy) 24 February 2006 After a terrible dinner date, Jen finds herself continually trying to avoid Bill "The News" Crouse (played by Adam Buxton). She asks self-confessed "terrible liar" Moss to cover for her, and he tells Bill that Jen has died. Moss believes that the problem is solved, but the story quickly gains momentum, and Bill continues to tell anyone who will listen that he was the last person to sleep with Jen. Meanwhile Jen, who is blissfully unaware of Moss's lie, continues to go about her daily business, but it appears that her spirit is haunting all of Reynholm Industries, especially Bill. Roy is trying to attract the attention of Julie, the attractive girl from the fifth floor (a place Roy refers to as "The Land of the Beautiful People"), but his effort only succeeds in drawing the admiring glances of someone at the opposite end of the scale ? Judy, the office cleaner. Elsewhere, Small Paul dies, and the office holds a memorial service for Jen, to which Denholm invites his good friend, Elton John. However, Jen crashes the ceremony, mistaking it for her "Employee of the Month" award presentation. The episode ends with everyone attending Small Paul's memorial service and Elton John playing the piano. 6 6 "Aunt Irma Visits" Graham Linehan Graham Linehan 3 March 2006 Jen's period (nicknamed "Aunt Irma" and explained to Moss as "the first scene from Carrie") has unexpected consequences as her colleagues begin to suffer sympathy pains. Moss sends an e-mail out to everyone he knows, and as a result many IT staff learn of the problems Roy and Moss are suffering, turning them into Internet celebrities and inciting "Aunt Irma" riots throughout the world. Back at Reynholm, with "Project Icarus" complete, all the teams are assembled before Denholm. Thanks are dished out to everyone except the IT department, and Roy and Moss insist that this "always happens". Moss has been having sessions with the attractive company psychiatrist (whom Roy insists looks exactly like his mother), but she informs him that he no longer needs her help. Later, she goes to the IT department to tell Moss she stopped seeing him as a patient so she could explore her feelings for him. The gang initially decides not to go to the celebration party at work, but with their night in with scented candles and the movie Steel Magnolias not helping, they decide the only solution is a big "girls' night out". They attend the party, Moss meets up with the psychiatrist, and they all get incredibly drunk. The next morning, Moss emerges from Jen's bathroom, Roy wakes up to the psychiatrist offering him a cup of tea, and Denholm wakes up with Richmond. The episode ends with "To Be Continued", but these events are never mentioned again. Series 2 (2007) Overall No. Series No. Title Directed by Written by Original air date 7 1 "The Work Outing" Graham Linehan Graham Linehan 24 August 2007 Jen is asked on a date by "Phillip from Six" to watch a play, and when Roy and Moss doubt the heterosexuality of her date, they invite themselves along in the hope of hilarity ensuing. Roy and Moss's suspicions are further reinforced when the play turns out to be a production of "Gay! ? A Gay Musical", during which the two are mistaken for a couple during the audience participation segment. During the intermission, Moss and Roy are unable to urinate in the gents' due to the presence of a toilet attendant, so they use the staff and disabled facilities respectively. However, after mistaking the emergency cord for the toilet flush, Roy pretends to be disabled, resulting in him being taken to Manchester as part of a group of gay disabled men, while Moss pretends to be a staff member, which results in him becoming a bartender. Jen confronts her date about his sexuality and when she mentions his interest in her Heat magazine, he comes clean, saying he hoped his relationship with Jen would work because she looks like a man. 8 2 "Return of the Golden Child" Graham Linehan Graham Linehan 31 August 2007 Moss discovers an internet site that calculates when people will die by analysing their personal details. Despite Roy's refusal to partake, Moss discovers that Roy will die on Thursday at 3pm. Denholm, threatened by police who want to investigate "financial irregularities" in the business's accounts, commits suicide by jumping out of a window during a meeting, and his funeral is also set for Thursday at 3pm. Roy buys a new mobile phone with lots of features but, finding himself disappointed by the weak vibrate setting, he allows Moss to "pimp your phone, girlfriend". Having set the vibrate function to the highest setting, the phone mistakenly goes off during Denholm's funeral, and to make matters worse, Roy mistakes it for his impending death and reacts accordingly, screaming and swearing. Before the funeral, Denholm's successor announces his plan to fire the enti...
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